I smoked cigarettes for 15 years and I am so glad that I did. It taught me that I have more control over my mind than I initially believed. I had tried to quit for years and years. But the truth was, I really wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready because smoking wasn’t my escape from stress, it was my way out of life. I smoked because I wasn’t happy with who I was, and it was a way for me to slowly kill myself, in what I thought was a more acceptable way.
My journey to quit smoking began with mindfulness. After watching a TedTalk, I discovered the Craving to Quit app, focusing on mindfulness and breaking habits. Through mindfulness, I realized that the cigarette I craved wasn’t relieving stress; it was causing it. I realized the taste and perceived necessity of the chemicals were, in reality, repulsive. This realization led me to dig deeper.
At the time, I wasn’t fully aware of why I was smoking, or was I? I knew I wasn’t happy, but I never did the investigating on why I wasn’t happy and what I could do to change it. Smoking was something I hid from others so they couldn’t see how unhappy I was. I couldn’t admit that. Deep down I hated smoking. I didn’t like the smell. I didn’t like how it made me sick. I didn’t like how it took control over me. It became second nature.
Whether it’s drinking, procrastination, or road rage, we all have our “smoking habits.” We rely on things that we think get us by until they become second nature that we no longer question, unquestioned and harmful. We know they are harmful to ourselves and others, but we just continue doing it because it’s easier than facing them. They aren’t easy to change, but if we want to be healthier, we must do the hard work and investigate why we are addicted to these behaviors in the first place. Only then can we truly quit.
What’s your smoking habit? Why do you rely on it? What do you do to change them?
